One of Us
by Jerinji
Summary: Triggers for you-name-it, so read at your own risk. Explicit non-con McKav, implied McShep (stable relationship). Sequel to "Not a Good Time". Kavanagh finds an alien device that allows him to control another person using only his mind. Picking up the pieces after his family's death in a car accident, he traps the one person who interests him the most to keep him entertained.
1. Chapter 1

McKay was sitting on the bed staring morosely at the floor when Sheppard walked in.

"Hey there. You're home early."

McKay turned pitiful eyes on him.

"She gave _me _time off to rest. _ME!_"

"Did she at least ground Kavanagh, too?"

"No. He's in the labs right now. Where I should be. This is ridiculous!"

"Is that safe? After…"

"Elizabeth said she has Zelenka watching him to make sure he doesn't mix something he shouldn't and blow up the solar system. Says he 'needs to work'. Like I don't!"

Sheppard sat down beside him.

"Come on, Rodney. Maybe he was…close to his family."

"So close he couldn't be bothered to send a personal message home when we thought we were going to _die_?"

"Well…" Sheppard frowned thoughtfully.

"Still, whatever the case, it's gotta have shaken him up pretty badly. I mean—you saw…"

Rodney hunched over miserably.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to talk about that. Ever again." Seeing Kavanagh stripped of everything, right down to the quick, had written for Rodney in giant, sprawling red letters just what it would be like if something were ever to happen to Sheppard. He didn't even want to contemplate it. It was too huge, too impossible. Too inevitable.

"Ok. No more talking about Kavanagh. Do you want me to put in a word for you with Elizabeth?"

McKay groaned.

"No, I just…I need to be working. This isn't a solution. In fact, having Kavanagh in the labs without me there is _worse_ than a non-solution."

"I thought we weren't talking about him."

"We're not! Except as pertains to the _possible destruction of this whole city._ You don't think he's capable of it?"

Sheppard's face went expressionless. He looked away.

"I think…most of the senior scientists are capable of…acts of great destruction."

"Yes, well. Enough about that as well. We've…been through it. Already."

Sheppard watched him for a minute.

"I'll talk to Elizabeth. You really think that person we're not talking about is a threat to the city? Was he any better this morning?"

"How would I know? I haven't seen another scientist all day. My brain cells are, are killing themselves like lemmings." McKay's hands came up to form claws of frustration.

"That's—"

"—actually a myth. I know. Thank you. Figure of speech, all right? I'm bored stiff, is what I'm saying."

"So…you weren't saying that I'm not smart enough to pull your brain cells back from the edge?"

"You…" McKay made a short, annoyed sound, his voice quieting.

"…haven't…been here all day." He gave Sheppard a sidelong glance.

"Part of the problem," he groused.

"Well then. Problem solved." Sheppard pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the general direction of what served as a hamper.

"_Part _of the problem solved," McKay corrected, but he smiled a little in spite of himself.

"Stop talking," growled Sheppard, and McKay stopped, because what he was looking at was way, _way _more interesting than speech, and Sheppard was right, this _was_ going to help significantly with the boredom.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rodney, have you seen Dr. Kavanagh? I promised Dr. Weir I would keep eye on him. Have been visiting him in his room after work, no sign of anything unusual. He drinks a lot, he is sad, of course, very sad, but that is good. As long as the feeling comes out, it can move on. But you know, when he is not here, I am watching his projects and mine. It has been almost a week now and he misses time more and more. He requests rare materials, and Weir will send Colonel Sheppard and team to mainland, to find these materials. Why does he want them? What is he thinking? McKay, my hands are full. I cannot keep constant eye on him. You are in charge, yes? Maybe he is only in his room. Can you check?" Radek scurried over to a beeping machine, turning into a flurry of hands and frazzled hair as the beeps sped up.

Rodney sighed heavily. He'd noticed the grumpy scientist's absence but chalked it up to Kavanagh trying to avoid him.

"I don't know. What's the point? He probably just doesn't want to see me. Why poke a sleeping lion?"

Radek stuck his head out of a cloud of steam or smoke.

"Kavanagh is not sleeping lion. He is very disturbed human being. I was not one who disturbed him. Please be fair and-aggh, _hovno._" Zelenka vanished again.

"Fine, fine. I'm going. But not willingly. Don't think I don't see the buck being passed, here."

" _Polib mi prdel_…" drifted from somewhere in the machine's depths and Rodney drooped. An idea struck and he perked up a little. _What are Marines for? I'll get some of them down to check on him_. He tapped his ear.

"Elizabeth, can you have someone check on Kavanagh's room for us? He's been missing shifts. Probably just, um, normal stuff given the situation but I need to be sure."

Weir's voice answered.

"Of course. I'll have one of the men sent down right away. Rodney, would you be willing to go to the mainland with John and his team? I'm sending them for a day or two to touch bases with the Athosians and scout around for some specific materials that have been requested. I think you'd be a great help in locating them."

_"So now I'm Kavanagh's personal errand boy…"_ McKay was careful not to touch his earpiece before he muttered it. He frowned as he realized the thought wasn't as abhorrent as it normally would have been. In fact the thought of doing something for Kavanagh made some of the raw, irritable tension that had been playing on his nerves all week diminish and smooth away. _Hmmmph. Guilt trips, pagh…_

"Well if it has to be done…" He sighed.

"I'll suit up and head down. See you in a day or two. Hope Zelenka doesn't mind holding things together up here."

"I'll talk to him. Thanks Rodney."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rodney was almost to his quarters when he rounded a corner and nearly ran head-on into Kavanagh.

"What the—where have you been? Everyone's looking for you."

"Everyone, my ass. You sent one person to see if I was in my room, didn't you? Plus Zelenka and maybe you, that makes this a very deserted city if 3 people constitutes everyone." Kavanagh's hands punctuated every few words with angry, assertive movements. The last one threw him off balance, he stumbled, grabbing at McKay to steady himself.

"Yes, well…" Rodney tapped his earpiece.

"Elizabeth? Yeah, never mind the Marine. I've found Kavanagh. He's, uh…fine."

"Oh I am, am I? Good to know. I wonder what the world did before it had you to tell it how it was doing?"

"Oh funny. Well you seem reasonably fine. Except that, from the looks of it, you're…self-medicated." Kavanagh's face was flushed and several curls escaped from his normally immaculately tidy ponytail. McKay made a face and waved his hand in front of it.

"Wait a minute. Are you drunk? Because—"

"God, McKay, don't start on me again. Come on. Cut a guy some slack. I have something exciting to show you. Been digging around in those old labs behind the submerged piers in the underground bay area."

"What? That area is off-limits. It's very dangerous and unstable."

Kavanagh laughed.

"Aren't we all?" He put an arm around McKay's shoulders.

"Come on, Rodney. Danger is the spice of life. You know everyone says that, but I've just realized how true it is. It's what makes you feel alive. Really liberating, actually."

"Ok, so. Philosophical rambling done? Back to news then. Discovery. Something to show me. Something I assume justifies you missing almost a week of work, cumulatively."

"What if I told you I'd found something more powerful than a ZPM?"

Rodney's eyes leapt to his.

"What? What did you say?"

Kavanagh looked around. They were alone in the hallway.

"You heard me." He lowered his voice, confidentially.

"Come on, I want to show you in person. You're going to be absolutely floored. This is something you have to see to believe."

McKay scowled at him.

"All right but it better not be some stupid air conditioner you think is God's gift to Atlantis because you've had been knocking back the good stuff."

"I haven't had that much. Honestly. Just excited. This is really big."

"Well, come on. We don't have a lot of time before I'm supposed to leave for the mainland to do _your_ grocery shopping."

"Oh? You said you'd go? Nice of you to agree."

"Hey! I can be just as nice as the next guy. I think. Depending on the next guy, I guess. I mean, I'm never going to be Beckett but then I didn't go into medicine, did I?" McKay realized he was talking to himself. Kavanagh had slipped past him and into a room where a machine hummed in the center, blue and red lights glowing up and down it. McKay stepped into the room, looked around for Kavanagh.

"What the—hey!"

And that was all he had time for, before darkness took his whole body and he collapsed like a rag doll into Kavanagh's waiting arms.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hi, John. This is Rodney. Look, there's been a development. An accident in one of the labs. Nothing serious but I need to stay here till everything's up and running. Can you and Teyla try to find those materials on your own? She knows how to say them in Athosian so it should be fine."

"Everything ok? You need me to call this off? I can."

"No, no. Go, sally forth. Work your magic. Bring back whatever you can find."

"All right. See ya, Rodney. Sheppard out."

"_Out. Yes. Out for good. Bye-bye Colonel…_" Kavanagh put down the voice encoder and smiled at McKay's inert body.


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth sat at her desk looking at the letter in front of her

"Dr. Weir, I appreciate your offer of an extended leave of absence to return to Earth and take care of business. However, all the services will have been completed before I would be able to reach Earth. My grandfather will be in charge of procedures and we are not close. He wishes to quickly conclude this matter and return to his business on the other side of the country. I have expressed my wishes, but as he is the only person willing to be responsible for taking care of what needs to be done, my hands are tied. My feelings on the subject are strong, of course, but there is no point in beating a dead horse.

Please allow me to remain here on Atlantis. What little I have left is here. My work is here.

Peter Kavanagh."

She put the letter down.

"All right, Kavanagh, " she murmured.

"I'm letting you stay, sending my best team to the mainland after your precious materials, turning a blind eye when you miss one work shift out of 3. Let's see if you can finally find a way to pull it together."

Weir dropped her head into her hands. Ever since they'd gotten to Atlantis, things had seemed to go wrong at every turn for the curly-haired scientist. Since his near-torture during the bomb situation, she'd been careful to maintain a careful, professional attitude to his missteps, but it hadn't been easy. Not that he made more than any of the other scientists, but he did seem to have a gift for finding the situations that made him look especially bad. Some of it was a simple matter of not listening to his superiors, but more often it couldn't be chalked up to anything but extraordinarily bad luck.

His personality didn't help. She found Kavanagh harder to read than Sheppard or even McKay. He was a mass of contradictions: obnoxiously and insubordinately curious but always wary, shying away at the last moment from the deepest essences of the discoveries that so excited him. Always eager to get out of harm's way, but quick to offer a hand up to a nameless soldier after a skirmish when no-one else could be bothered. The first to run away from a fight, the last to give up in an argument.

And now this, the tragic accident that had taken his family…

She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, reflecting, remembering the day his name had surfaced on the pile of personnel she had vetted herself as candidates for the Atlantis expedition. It had been a sunny and bright day. She could still smell the hyacinths and wet earth, still see the tall Gothic windows all around them as she mounted the steps of the old university building. A small sign in the lobby had indicated the way to the guest lecture in the main hall.

"Dr. Kavanagh?"

A quick appraising look.

"Yes?"

"That was an inspired presentation."

He looked down, smiling in spite of himself.

"It did go…even better than I'd hoped. You can never be sure what you're going to get with this type of event. A lot of factors at play. I'm sorry, uh…thank you…Ms…?"

She held out a hand.

"Dr. Elizabeth Weir. I've heard about your work and I'd like a word with you. When would you be free?"

He took her hand, cautiously, his eyes still bright with the excitement of being on stage, his lips rounded and ever so slightly curved.

"Are you with the AAAS?" His fingers clasped hers a little longer and more warmly than was appropriate, the tiny flutter in his pulse betraying how much adrenaline was still in his system. He dropped them, looked down hastily and cleared his throat, finding a safe place for his hand at the edge of the papers he was carrying.

"No, our goal is…quite a bit more experimental and progressive. I think you'll be very interested in hearing what I have to say."

A quick look at her from the corners of eyes that were suddenly cocky and playful with the lingering exhilaration of holding the crowd's attention, their intoxicating response to his ideas.

"You're not terrorists, are you?"

"Um, no, we're…explorers. Of this galaxy and possibly…others."

"Aeronautics?"

"Intergalactic travel. Things that can only be described as concepts, because no-one has seen them yet. The frontiers most people on Earth don't even have any conception of. I know you have some idea what I'm talking about, given where you work now. We're just another branch. At some point many or most of the personnel there will know about us, but you were one of the few chosen for a chance to get an advance briefing. I can't say any more here, of course. But I promise you won't be disappointed if you agree to hear more about it."

His eyes widened, went dark and serious.

"How did—ah, I would—yes, be very interested," he breathed. He cleared his throat, suddenly embarrassed.

"What about, um, this Thursday? At my laboratory? Given what you seem to know, I assume you have clearance?"

"That shouldn't present a problem. Till then, Doctor." Her eyes sparked, promising, luring his with the excitement she couldn't conceal any time she even thought about the possibilities of what she had been building for the past several months. She saw his pupils widen fractionally in response and smiled to herself as she broke eye contact and walked away, aware he was looking after her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The lab was quiet except for the bubbling of experiments in various stages of progress. He waved a hand dismissively as she looked around.

"Hobbies. My real work is—well, you heard some of it and I believe you'd like to hear more?" His eyes anticipated the possibility that her interest had waned, gave her a last chance to back out. She lifted her chin slightly.

"Please, Dr. Kavanagh, go on."

He opened his mouth, then paused.

"Before the lady has spoken? I wouldn't dream of it. You had some very…provocative things to say at our last meeting, Dr. Weir. I'd like to hear more about all that first."

"Of course. Let me tell you about it…"

He watched her with absorbed interest as she began to detail their discoveries to date and the possibilities that lay ahead of them.

"And this is a civilian operation? For the purposes of science and exploration? How closely will the military be involved?"

"Yes, of course. There will be the necessity of a military contingent, naturally, to protect the expedition. But our focus will be researching what could be the most important breakthrough of our age."

That seemed to satisfy him and with a quick, shy look that signaled a boundary crossed he invited her to a corner of the lab where a collection of drawings and notes was laid out. His hands followed his explanations over the papers, across the boards, expounding, building castles of air and logic, drawing her deeper and deeper into his world, his eyes consuming and alive as they searched hers for an answering spark, his passion pulling her out of her own natural reserve until she laid a hand over his and told him he was the one.

_If only there were a way to harness all that energy without crushing it…_She couldn't help feeling she had failed at every turn so far, until—she was finally learning the strength to admit it to herself—she'd stopped seeing him as a scientist or even as a man and only saw the mirror he had become of the ways she could never, would never succeed.

If there had been a warning, an indication of what was to follow, perhaps it was that moment, when he looked right into her, the glow in his eyes fading as he read with devastating clearness how little she understood of what he had just built for her. He had looked down and for the first time she felt the chill, the slight change in his attitude, a withdrawal that left her frightened and defensive at the feelings of inadequacy it raised in her.

But he had forgiven her then, too intoxicated by the possibilities she had offered him to resist. One hand went out, she thought at first to touch hers as she had done to him, but at the last second he put it on the papers detailing her offer. Precise, scrupulous honesty of thought and action, and she'd taken it for integrity. Had she been wrong? Certainly there was no way she could have predicted how much it would hurt when he turned his talents against her, when the increasingly scornful withdrawal became a permanent part of his attitude toward her and the probing mind started following her every decision to its most likely outcome. She made a soft, disturbed sound at the thought and laid the letter down, rising from her chair.

In the end, it didn't matter. She had been chosen for her role just as she had chosen him for his.


	4. Chapter 4

Light. The first thing Rodney was aware of was light. Warm, yellow light, filtering under his lids. The next was his rapid breathing, his heart racing against his ribs as he regained consciousness and his body reassured itself it was still alive.

He opened his eyes a crack. His body stretched out below him, disappeared under a blanket. Rodney tried to move but something held him immobile. He could barely turn his head to the side. All around him the warm light of an officer's suite glowed on the walls and illuminated a table covered with an assortment of bottles and what looked like a chemistry set.

A face appeared above him and an arm went under his shoulders, lifting him. He felt a pillow being pushed under his shoulders.

"Who's there? Carson?" Rodney struggled but a firm hand restrained him.

"Relax, McKay. It's just me."

Rodney tried to focus. Nose. Curls.

"K—Kavanagh? What the heck?" Something incongruous caught his attention.

"Where are your glasses?"

" Contacts. I was…saving them for a special occasion." The younger scientist sat on the bed beside him.

"I think this qualifies. Do you like them?"

"What happened? Why am I…?" He strained again at the invisible bonds.

"There's an alien device sending feedback to your brain. It's on your left temple."

Rodney focused. Sure enough, a faint blue glow appeared at the edge of his vision on one side.

"How…why…?"

"How. Hmm. Well, I put it on you when you came with me to check on the 'new artifact' I wanted to tell you about."

He took two small bottles, poured the contents together, and swirled the bottle gently.

"Why…now that's another question entirely. Much more complex. Don't worry, though, we'll get to it. I plan to go over everything thoroughly. By the time I'm done, even you won't be able to miss the answer."

"Even I—what? You mean you—you—" Rodney was sputtering with disbelief and growing fury.

"You got it! See, even Mr. Know-It-All is teachable. I knew there had to be a good use for this device."

Rodney struggled furiously but the only thing that moved were his facial muscles and the muscles in his trunk. His arms and legs felt like lead, heavy and useless.

"What the hell, Kavanagh?!" He tried harder and was rewarded with a brief 2 inch space between his head and the pillow.

"Hmm. Interesting. It seems with enough effort you can overcome the effects momentarily…" Kavanagh pulled one of McKay's arms out straight in front of him, wiped the crease inside his elbow with a small piece of gauze that smelled pungently of alcohol.

"No time to waste then."

And then the needle was against his skin and he was shouting and wriggling—and then it was inside.

The needle was under his skin.

It didn't hurt. Kavanagh looked at his face and snorted.

"Oh stop it, McKay. This is a 30G. You probably had a bigger needle in you in grade school when they pricked your finger."

"I…hacked into the computer. Listed my exam as…aaaaah! completed!" McKay's body jerked as Kavanagh pressed the stopper and emptied the syringe into his arm.

Kavanagh looked at him.

"Seriously?"

"Not everyone spent their grade school years—wait, what are you doing?" The cotton ball pinned under Kavanagh's thumb stared inoffensively back up at McKay until Kavanagh's long, slender fingers slapped a strip of tape over it.

"The Wraith are on their way. It may take them a few weeks, a few months to get here in force. But they are coming. We don't have the resources to stop them. I personally don't much care if we do or not. So. I've decided to give myself one last chance to be the person everyone seems to think I am. And you're the lucky fly that got caught in my web."

Rodney's eyes got very big as the full significance of Kavanagh's words sank in.

"You can't possibly—do you, could you actually think you have any chance in hell of getting away with this? What did you just give me? Oh God, was that—did you just poi—"

"Breathe, McKay. It was a simple aphrodesiac. All-natural, nothing you're allergic to. I checked. Not just the substances, the compounds they're made of. Nothing was in that syringe that's going to hurt you."

McKay flushed bright red.

"What are you going to do?" It was barely a whisper.

Kavanagh leaned over him.

"Well, unless I need to explain 'aphrodesiac' to you, I think you can probably guess."

McKay drew in his breath in a sharp hiss, his hands clenching where they lay on the bedclothes.

"I'll ruin you, you miserable cowardly—aaaaagh..." A shiver ran through Rodney's whole body as Kavanagh stroked one hand up the inside of his leg, under the blanket. The fingers probed up, up into his crease, rubbing him, warm and caressing. Rodney gulped and blustered, his stomach clenching with fear.

"You'll never see the inside of a lab again. I swear, I will personally make sure e-every single person associated with science in any way, however small—" Beads of sweat stood out large and shiny on Rodney's forehead.

Kavanagh made an impatient sound and flopped down on his stomach on the wide bed, his fingers slipping into Rodney's undershorts.

"Poor work, Rodney. I would have expected better from you. Your argument assumes I have a reputation to lose. I don't. In fact…" He stopped talking abruptly and pressed his lips together, pursing them firmly for control as he let them roll out.

Rodney stared at him, his whole body going cold. _The message from Earth. Kavanagh's whole family, killed in a car accident…_

"You…don't have anything—"

Kavanagh looked at him, his mouth tightening.

"Yes, yes, thank you, _Doctor _McKay. We can always count on you to put it like it is. Or how you think it is. Like with the bomb situation, when you raked Cadman over the coals for not following your orders slavishly and doing something on her own initiative that just _happened _to be what saved your asses and mine from your collective stupidity, in the end. Yeah, she told me."

His fingers grew more explorative, tracing outlines, finding nerve centers. Rodney quivered suddenly and jerked, biting off a cry, his whole body clenching. Kavanagh smirked and withdrew his hand.

"You know, I can't decide whether I admire or despise your capacity to be completely sure you're right even when you're as _abysmally _wrong as it's possible to be. In a way, it's sort of…magnificent."

Rodney panted and stared. Kavanagh slipped the hand back into his shorts, watched him with avid, clinical interest as he writhed.

"That good already, is it? Interesting…Mmmm, so many options, so little time. It's really too bad. Given the chance, I'd love to try out all the variables. Take you apart bit by bit, right down to whatever's underneath all that show and tell."

McKay's jaw clenched.

"I don't suppose—nnnngggg!—reminding you that there are, oh I don't know, a _million _better ways you could be using your time would be—aaaaaaggghhhh!…any—use?"

Kavanagh laughed, shortly and without humor.

"Oh, I tried that. You know what it got me? Suspicion, imprisonment, near-torture. But I'm totally motivated to go through all that again. For the good of the many, you know." He looked directly into McKay's eyes, then dropped his eyelids and moved closer until their lips were almost touching.

"And if you believe that…well, I've got a bridge to sell you."

McKay glared at him. Kavanagh sighed and drew back.

"So, Mr. Right—excuse me, Mr. _Always _Right, tell me, how much _do_ you know about motivation and human behavior?"

McKay just looked at him, raw apprehension creeping into his eyes. It had only been a few minutes and already his skin was crawling with sensation, blood rushing to his most sensitive points.

"See, when a person has…nothing to lose…" Kavanagh's fingers singled out McKay's swelling penis, grasped it and stroked it, his thumb running up the underside to rub and tease the spot just below the head.

"They normally choose one of two options. Give up or…" He pulled the blanket off McKay and inspected the results of his work.

"…take it out on someone or something else. Usually the person they like the least."

"You dislike me more than anybody else on this whole base? Aaaaaaagh…H—How is that possible?"

"Well, the competition _is_ stiff." Kavanagh's eyes lit, mockingly, his fingers doing things that sent indecent waves of pleasure surging through Rodney's unwilling body.

"Much like the two of us are, at the moment. However…"

"I don't just dislike you, Rodney. In fact, I…" He leaned in, his face confidential, then stopped and sat up, abruptly.

"Never mind. We'll talk about that soon."


	5. Chapter 5

Kavanagh ran his tongue up and down the underside of Rodney's throbbing penis, following it with strong strokes of his fingers.

"Do you like that? Go on, tell me what you like. I'll be generous the first time." His eyes met Rodney's, something dark and dangerous in their depths. Rodney shivered. He thrust his chin up, obstinately.

"You're going to rape me, apparently, and I'm supposed to tell you how to do it better—wait, how does this work? Even in your obviously deranged mind? Seriously, tell me. I'd like to know what—mmmff!" Kavanagh's mouth closed warm and wet on his cock, his tongue sliding into the sensitive slit at the top and Rodney's brain stopped producing coherent speech.

"God…" McKay groaned, as soon as he could speak.

"Kavanagh, why—what do you want—is this revenge, i-is that what this is? For what I said, in the lab? I swear, I didn't know. You can—aaaaaagh! ask anybody."

Kavanagh's weight shifted. His face appeared in McKay's view as he turned on his belly and wriggled up against McKay until they were lying side by side. McKay cringed at the sensation of Kavanagh's long, warm body against his.

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You'd like me to make it simple for you. You know, for someone who thinks as much of his intelligence as you do, you can be incredibly dense. This goes much further back. This..." Kavanagh swallowed and looked down at the bed, rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"…this _situation _is just the catalyst. That brought us together, you might say."

McKay's brain spun, trying to remember. What could Kavanagh be talking about? _No_, _focus, Rodney. Focus on the now._

He licked his lips.

"Look, I know you must be…suffering…after…"

Kavanagh was laughing at him, his hand teasing Rodney between his legs, watching him closely as he struggled to speak.

"Go on…"

"Af—f—fter—"

"See, the real question is, are you suffering?" Kavanagh slid his fingers, wet and slick with some unknown substance, into Rodney's cleft, rubbing the wetness over and into his entrance. The longest finger paused against the convulsing pink pucker, pressed ever so slightly. Pulse against pulse. Rodney couldn't breathe.

"How about…now?" The finger dug in, hard and rude and _so fucking good._ Rodney moaned, stars sparking behind his eyes.

"God, this is good. This is really funny." He pushed a second finger in, scissoring and stroking, gloating as Rodney squirmed.

"Do you feel…_sorry_ for me, McKay? Was that pathetic pretense your way of trying to ape some kind of human compassion?"

Rodney couldn't answer, couldn't trust his lips. Kavanagh sighed.

"Fine. I'll make it easy for you. Yes, it was a dick move, the way you just came in and hit me with—right after—" He stopped short, struggled with something that congested his throat and cleared it. For a few moments he stared at the bed, silently, then he let his head fall back, tilting it until he was looking at Rodney sideways.

"But you keep saying you didn't know. So. Fair enough. The simple truth is, though, that I hate you McKay. I've hated you since the first moment I saw you. But because you're a self-absorbed prick that doesn't register anyone around you unless they are directly adding to your ego bank, you never got the picture. It never even occurred to you, apparently."

He leaned back down, lifted Rodney's cock with his left hand, ran his tongue down it and pressed a kiss against his balls. Rodney whimpered as he sucked first one and then the other into his mouth, his tongue gliding silky-soft around and around, the fingers of his right hand stroking and caressing the tight, responsive muscles at the mouth of Rodney's entrance, setting him on fire inside and out. Kavanagh let his last capture slip out of his mouth with a slick pop and raised his head.

"How's that feel? Any complaints? Am I missing anything? Tell me, McKay." His head lowered again.

Rodney's whole body was responding in involuntary, spasmodic jolts to the scrupulously thorough exploration Kavanagh's mouth was making up and down his swollen length. He cried out as Kavanagh's left hand squeezed firmly up his penis and he sucked hard on the head.

"K-Kavanagh—s—stop—aaaaah!"

Kavanagh's tongue swirled around him, licking and laving while wet lips stroked up and down and McKay emptied himself, moaning and shaking, into Kavanagh's mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

"Here, drink some water." Kavanagh flipped the blanket back over the other scientist and put a straw between his lips. McKay accepted it without remark.

"Are you hungry?"

McKay gave him a long, truculent look.

"Yes," he muttered finally.

Kavanagh disappeared for several minutes and McKay heard the sound of running water. Kavanagh returned, shaking his hands to dry them. McKay watched as he took out what looked like a granola bar and broke off a piece.

"Really? Are you kidding—"

"Or…I could just eat it myself." Kavanagh lifted the piece.

"No no no! That's not necessary. I'll…" McKay made what could only be described as a growl.

"Open wide…"

McKay rolled his eyes but made no further comment. His mouth closed on the piece of food and Kavanagh's fingers. The eyes watching him went instantly dark and sensual, lips parted in a small gasp. Kavanagh dropped the bar on the bed, his other hand sliding involuntarily under the blanket and McKay choked. He swallowed with difficulty.

"Dammit, Kavanagh, could you _not _do that when I'm eating?" he snapped. Kavanagh grinned and looked down. His eyes teased McKay but he kept his hands to himself as he placed the next piece in his mouth.

McKay devoted his entire attention to the food for the next few minutes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So then. Because you hate me. But you won't admit to wanting revenge for anything specific. This means I need to know what's going to satisfy your apparently arbitrary hatred. Wait..." His eyes stopped searching, gleamed.

"You were laughing at me earlier. When like a nice, trusting idiot I tried to help your retarded ass find a legitimate reason for your obviously _insane _actions so far. Is this about humiliation?"

"It can be. I'm game if you are." Kavanagh pressed up against him, his eyes dancing.

"Tell me your freaky fantasies. All fifty shades of McKay. I won't judge."

McKay ignored him.

"Ok. Not revenge. Just your run-of-the-mill crazy PTSD episode then. Or wait…" His mouth wrinkled with distaste.

"Don't tell me…there's even a chance that you…No. Not just after I've eaten. Can't even think about that one right now or I _will _be sick."

Kavanagh gave him a quick, lost look. He looked across the room at nothing in particular, then stood and walked over to the table. McKay heard the clink of glass and the quick swish of a shot being knocked back. A second gurgle and swish followed. He was on the point of sending another insult after him when Kavanagh returned, his face flushed. He gazed at McKay with an indulgent and slightly woozy fondness, then flopped down on the bed, wriggled forward and planted a wet, debauched kiss on his mouth, his tongue dipping and digging in with unrestrained enjoyment.

"Wait a minute." McKay closed his eyes pointedly, ignoring the kiss as well. He ran a thoughtful tongue around the inside of his mouth.

"Aha. Whisky. Scotch, if I'm not mistaken. Kavanagh, you irresponsible, sloppy drunk. You will pay for this. I swear to God I'm not cutting you any slack this time."

Kavanagh chuckled in his ear and kissed him just under it, his tongue following the kiss.

"Do you ever? You know, I think…that might be one of the things I hate most about you. You don't accept anything less than perfection. It's annoying as hell and, mmm…" His mouth went exploring and found a nipple.

"…just as hot."

McKay gritted his teeth as Kavanagh's tongue came back up to lick and trace the inside of his ear.

"Do you _have _to do that?"

Kavanagh shrugged.

"Either that…or…" He slid a hand up McKay's leg and pressed his fingers over the bulge in his shorts, his warm hand cupping all of Rodney at once, the heel of his hand rolling rhythmically against his balls as the strong fingers manipulated his cock through the cloth. Rodney moaned and Kavanagh removed the firm pressure, lifting his hand until only the tips of his fingers rested against Rodney's shorts. The fingers slid and circled idly over the thin fabric, leaving burning trails wherever they touched.

"Take your pick, I suppose. See, the thing is: our time together is not…infinite. I don't want to waste any of it. I do have sensors set up, of course, that will detect incoming visitors and give me plenty of time to finish what I have planned, but still…" He laid a finger against McKay's lips as they parted to protest.

"Anyone could realize at any time that you're not on that trip to the mainland like you're supposed to be. Or that we're not in any of the labs, working on a last-minute emergency, where I told your friends in the jumper we'd be instead."

Kavanagh nuzzled the other side of McKay's neck.

"I guess I _could_ always use the device to help you be less of a party pooper. You know, if this isn't _exciting _enough for you. I mean, have you registered who's doing all the work here? I'm not complaining—yet—but still…"

"Yeah yeah. God, whatever. Ughhhh…" McKay groaned as Kavanagh's mouth went trailing down his body. He struggled for words.

"See, this kind of—nnngg—pathetic desperation is exactly why you haven't—had anyone—in your quarters since—we—we got here—uggggh! Plus the whole—creepy rapist thing? Total—nnnng—turnoff—aaaahhh…"

Kavanagh pulled down McKay's shorts, exposing his already thickening cock.

"Hmm. Yes. Totally turned off. I should just…give up right now." His fingers tickled up and down and McKay shivered violently.

"You wouldn't care, right? You'd rather I…stopped?"

McKay looked up, his forehead wrinkled.

"Yes, of course!" he hissed, his breath catching and shuddering in his throat as Kavanagh's fingers gripped more firmly and pulled, stroking both sides of his cock.

"Hmm. Of course. Personal dignity, consent, all that crap. Aww, McKay. You're still in that happy place where your body actually belongs to _you_ and isn't the property of a universe that likes to arbitrarily fuck with it any time the powers that be are looking for a scapegoat. It's kind of…sweet, actually." Kavanagh sighed regretfully, his fingers pausing their strong, skillful slide. He elbowed his way up the bed until he was staring Rodney in the eyes.

"Unfortunately for you…I have no reason to give a crap."


	7. Chapter 7

McKay's legs were still trembling, his breath coming in long, hungry gasps, but he made a valiant effort to hide it. Kavanagh gave him a patronizing look as he cleaned him with a wet towel, his hands careful and thorough.

"Don't pretend with me. I can tell what you like and what you don't like."

"I don't like any of this, you deluded psychopath!"

"You say that with your mouth but your body…tells a different story."

"Do I really need to explain this to you? There are certain physical reactions the male body has to stimulation that are _entirely _independent of a person's will or desire."

"I'm well aware of that." Kavanagh didn't look at him.

"That sounded like…experience." McKay knew he shouldn't have said it as soon as the words came out. Kavanagh looked up at him mutely.

"Wow. God. I'm…sorry?"

"You said that like a question. Like there would be some reason you shouldn't be."

"No, that wasn't—no, not at all—"

"'It's just _Kavanagh_. Let's pull his pants down in the hall so everyone can have a laugh.' 'Oh look, here's Kavanagh. One of him and three of us. Hmm, nobody else around. I have an idea. Let's show him what makes us alpha males.' _It's just Kavanagh._ That's what you all think. But don't worry, I'm used to it. It's never been any different for me and it's never—"

"_Stop _it! I said it like a question because, Jesus, what do you say to something like that? Ignoring for a moment the fact that you're doing to me the same thing someone apparently did to you."

"Yeah, well. What goes around comes around…You know what I really hate about you?"

"More hatred. Lovely. Do enlighten me."

"You actually _were _sorry."

"Great. You hate me for being the one person who doesn't fit into your psychotic Lemony-Snicket fantasy of the world. Hold on, though. This is like one of those movies, isn't it? Where the bad guy—"

"I'm the bad guy?"

"I didn't say that, you did. However, if the shoe fits. Look, when is it going to dawn on you just how crazy what you are doing here is? Newsflash! This is not what normal people do."

"But it is. 'Normal', successful, admired people, even. And everyone else just closes their eyes, because someone they like better than the other guy is the one doing it." Kavanagh's voice was not even angry. It was quiet and resigned and frighteningly sure.

"Well, newsflash for you, Mc-wise-ass. It's my turn now." He planted a kiss on Rodney's grimace and lifted himself off the bed.

"See you in a bit, beautiful."

"Says the man with a _ponytail_!" Rodney hurled it after him. Kavanagh gave him a backwards look and waggled his eyebrows.

"I'll take it down for you."

"God, just go. Wherever you're going, keep going. As long as it's away from me."

"I won't be long."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kavanagh reappeared from wherever he had vanished to, toweling his hair.

"How are we doing? That last one was a doozy, eh? I thought you were going to take my fingers off."

McKay cringed and glared at him. Kavanagh grinned happily.

"There are no words for that level of crudeness. So I'm not going to dignify it with an answer." McKay took one extra long breath, his heart slowing gradually.

"So, what exactly is your plan here? Because I don't see any way that this is going to end well for you."

"Rodney, Rodney…" Kavanagh's voice chided him gently. He sat down on the bed and ran a caressing hand over his chest, expert fingers finding the spots that made Rodney's nipples stand up straight and hard. McKay gripped the bedclothes.

"No no no no! Dear God, it's been _maybe_ ten minutes! What kind of a machine do you think I am?"

Kavanagh gave him a lascivious look from under drooping lashes.

"A sex machine, obviously. And actually it's been closer to thirty. You know what they say, time flies..." He leaned over and covered first one nipple with his mouth, then the other, pausing on the last one to flick his tongue over it again and again in fluttering, teasing licks. McKay arched a good inch off the bed, a low, guttural sound catching in his throat.

"Mmmm. You like that." Kavanagh lifted his head and headed for the other nipple.

"Wait wait! Wait! Kavanagh!" Something in McKay's voice made the other scientist pause.

"Kav. Peter. No. Let's just talk."

Kavanagh looked at him hard, pouting. He stretched sulkily across McKay, folding his arms on McKay's chest, his chin resting on his crossed arms.

"Aaaaall right! Aaaaagh…" McKay shuddered, trying not to meet the blue eyes that were watching him raptly at very close range.

"Ok. Good. I mean, not good really but better. Definitely better. Now. Plan. End result. Thinking about consequences. Yes? Am I getting through here?"

"Oh Rodney. Has no-one ever told you? It's not about the end. It's about…the journey." He walked two fingers up Rodney's scrunched-up face, ran his fingers lightly down the side.

"That's the Scotch talking. Come on, Kavanagh. You're better than this."

"I am?" His fingers went up for another pass, his palm flattening closer to Rodney's skin this time, the tips of his fingers slipping into Rodney's hair, curling under his chin as they rounded the curve of his face.

A very fleeting tinge of guilt crossed Rodney's face at how genuine the question sounded. _Scotch, _he reminded himself firmly.

"God, _stop _with the hands! What am I, your long-lost sibling? Yes. Yes you are."

Kavanagh sighed, returned both hands to their crossed positions.

"Ok, even if we allow that as an option—which, curiously, only seems to occur to you people when you've _already_ decided to cast me as the criminal mastermind—you're clearly not looking at all the variables. For example…" A devilish look crept into his eyes.

"Who's to say that the emergency—remember, that's our excuse for sending Sheppard, his mouth-breather, and Emmagen to the mainland without us to look for a rare but _highly_ necessary substance—didn't end in a fatality? Tragically."

Rodney paled, his whole body tensing.

"You'd never get away with it!" he whispered.

"Oh? They nearly tortured me last time they accused me wrongly of being the bad guy. How quick do you think Weir's going to be to risk making the same mistake twice? Especially since she finally seems to have done some rudimentary self-analysis and the fact that she has treated me differently from the beginning because of her personal feelings towards me is apparently sinking in."

Rodney's eyes searched his wordlessly.

"Probability? Roughly? No? Ok then! Next criticism? Throw it right out, I'm on a roll here!"

Rodney let all his breath out at once.

"Who's going to—you can't actually think that you—"

"Oh yes. This does beg the question, who would step into the role of CSO, if you were gone? Let me think now…Maybe someone who actually thinks about the safety of the expedition at large before fixating on what will make himself look good?"

_Would. If. Still theoretical. _Rodney's mind buzzed, he forced himself to separate the loud, panicky thoughts from the ones that connected, that fit. _There's an explanation. There's always an explanation. A key. I just have to find it. Just have to stay calm. Have to—damn it…_

The words welled up and he couldn't stop them.


	8. Chapter 8

"You're going to murder me for the chance at a promotion? A really, really slight chance?"

Kavanagh shrugged.

"You're the one who didn't do the math before jumping to conclusions." He moved his hips, separating Rodney's legs and lowering himself between them.

"And you call _me_ sloppy…"

"Look. Suppose—suppose we explore a—a theoretical future where I don't die. Yes. Let's do that. We can do that, right? You know, just out of—aaaaaaaagh! curios—s—ss—sity…" Kavanagh was licking his left ear, his tongue slipping warm and explorative down into the darkness and McKay felt an instant, impossible response between his legs. The other scientist's smirk told him he wasn't the only one who'd noticed it. Kavanagh paused, came back to center.

"Ok," he murmured, his mouth hovering so close McKay could almost taste the blend of Scotch and mint.

"Let's. I've always been a sucker for indulging…curiosity."

He watched McKay's lips, contentedly, as he pressed them tightly together, willing his body's reaction to the familiar cues not to happen.

_Curiosity. _Pictures flashed suddenly, unbidden, through Rodney's mind. _Kavanagh, poring over a new artifact, his hands busy and possessive, his eyes greedy and bright with interest. Browsing avidly over the consoles in the labs and control room, eyes absorbing every detail with breathless satisfaction. _He looked up into the other scientist's eyes. Something was different. Missing. Something vital, fundamental—something that was the very essence of Kavanagh. It had been missing the whole time, right from the first touch of Kavanagh's hands. There was a darkness he had never sensed before. A light that flickered where it had always burned steadily.

Rodney's mind sharpened, scanning, processing.

"So, what if this were just about…exploring possibilities?"

Kavanagh leaned his head back.

"Right. Supposing that. I am a little drunk, you were right about that. So maybe I just—but wait." His head came down.

"We already went there. Remember? No slack, you said. Pure unadulterated justice, right? An eye for an eye, or maybe two for one, seeing how you all like to punish people even when they're completely innocent."

"I…" Rodney groaned. He looked at Kavanagh plaintively.

"Look, I tried to give you a break when you started with all this crazy shit and you laughed in my face. What the hell am I supposed to do, beg?"

"Would you? Will you?"

"Will I? Will?" McKay's voice was suddenly high and tight.

"K-Kavanagh, uh, what I said before? About no slack? What if we…err…struck that from the equation?"

Kavanagh cocked his head, a little smile playing around his mouth.

"I'm following. Please, continue, Doctor."

"So…supposing the…ehm, emergency were to result in, like you say, an accident, but the effect was some very, err, specific amnesia, instead?"

"You want to just…forget about all this?

McKay chose his words carefully.

"I'm saying it's an option. A-a conceivable…uh…contingency. At this point."

Kavanagh considered.

"There's a point of no return, is what you're saying."

"No, I didn't say that, I said—"

"But there is, isn't there?"

"Well obviously if you kill me there's not going to be a lot of 'forgive and forget' going on!" McKay snapped. Kavanagh smirked.

"So, short of that…maiming, surgical invasion…torture? How far do I get to—"

"Would you just shut up and listen to what I'm saying, for once?" McKay tried valiantly to keep the terror gripping his throat from slipping into his voice. Kavanagh sobered.

"Ok. Listening."

McKay eyed him suspiciously.

"Why are you suddenly being so…reasonable? Oh my God. You _are_ going to kill me, aren't you? That's your plan."

"I can be very reasonable under the right circumstances, McKay."

"All right then. So—" Rodney would have liked his voice to be a little deeper and less squeaky but at least it wasn't breaking. Kavanagh broke in.

"Just to be clear, though, what's my motivation for choosing theoretical amnesia over…pfffft, no more Rodney? Given the additional risk involved. You know how big I am on risks. Especially unnecessary risks."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Trying to work with what I've got here." Rodney threw him a harried look.

"Give me a second, ok?"

"So you can think of a way to get the upper hand? What kind of strategy is that?"

"Just…just bear with me—wait. Upper hand. You just said…Ha! Weren't you just complaining, sorry, _mentioning_ that you were the one doing all the work?"

"I was, yes. Why? McKay…" Kavanagh's voice dropped to a purr.

"Are you offering me what I think you are?"


	9. Chapter 9

McKay struggled hard to rise from the pillow, failed and dropped back with a groan.

"If I were? That's _if. _A very big 'if'."

Kavanagh's lashes dropped.

"I can't say I'm not tempted…" He gazed at the ceiling.

"Now, this would be in exchange for what? Spell out your terms, McKay. I want concrete parameters. And no dropping or striking anything this time."

McKay looked at him.

"We're clear that all this is still coercion, right? Offering me not-death is hardly any kind of choice."

"Why would that be relevant? Assuming we're going the amnesia route."

"Just for the record. I don't want it ever even _breathed _that I had sex with you of my own free will."

Kavanagh flinched, his eyes darting away involuntarily. He looked down and smiled to himself but didn't reply. McKay's eyes searched his face, scrutinizing.

"I still don't get it. What you can be getting out of this aside from a free fuck or two, which considering the time you must have put into it doesn't make sense either. Was there seriously nobody else on this whole base you could bribe, annoy or harrass into—"

"God, McKay..." Something changed in Kavanagh's voice, turning it rough and ragged.

"Do you know—do you understand what you're messing with, here?"

McKay's eyes scanned his face. _ Not good. Pushed him too far, too soon. Interesting to know for reference though. Where the line is… _

"I'm…" He looked down.

"…just trying to…understand."

"Uh huh. Right." Kavanagh gave a short laugh.

"This is ludicrous, really. You talk to me about planning and then you keep taking cheap shots at me. When I have an alien device _attached to your brain. _Come on, McKay, what are you thinking?"

"Maybe this is part of my plan? You know I'm not going to be without one. I'm a scientist, just like you, Kavanagh. We never stop thinking. Or maybe…I really want to know."

Kavanagh sneered.

"Yeah, right. Mr. "I-hate-Kavanagh-as-much-as-the-next-guy-maybe-more" wants to understand. Don't pretend for a second you want to know more about what's going on with me. None of you do. Not one of you gives a damn. Except possibly Zelenka, and he's got his own issues to worry about."

McKay followed his instincts and dropped all pretence.

"Ok, so maybe I don't want to know anything except how to mindfuck you into letting me go. What does that make me except a normal human being? You're holding me against my will and—and—well, who isn't going to use whatever they can in a situation like this? And to be fair, if you watched that security tape all the way through, you'd have seen what the context was. What was it? Hmm?"

Kavanagh looked him in the eyes for several seconds. McKay stared right back, his eyes hostile and expectant. Kavanagh gave a small sigh of defeat and looked away.

"You were…you were questioning their suggestions. When they wanted to torture me."

"Bingo! Another point for contestant one! So. Great. Wait, is that why I'm here? Because I was the first one dumb enough, apparently—given your response—to _not _want to put you through the wringer without very good cause?"

"I don't—that's not—"

"Because that's really pretty fucked up, Kavanagh. What kind of person does that? Come on. Answer me." Rodney could feel the dynamic changing, could read it in the air, in his mind, in Kavanagh's body language. _That's it. He's fundamentally less confident, always has been. That's how we're different. It's a basic weakness to strength relationship. Negative energy vs. positive. I need to get him far enough off-kilter that he starts to doubt himself. That he starts looking for someone else to take responsibility, to take charge. Someone older, smarter, with a brilliant mind and a dazzling personality and unquantifiable amounts of talent in various fields and—okay. Anyway. That's my strategy. _

Kavanagh was looking around, his breath coming in short, unsettled little pants as he fought with himself.

"I told you already that I hate you, right? How is that hard to understand, even for a terminally egomanaical attention whore like you? Do I need to spell it out? I. Hate. You. I've wanted to ream your ass for ages. Pretty much every time you opened your jerk mouth. Also, did it not filter down through the denseness that I never said this _wasn't _about humiliation? Do you really think you get to belittle people constantly, with or without reason, and not run into any kind of repercussions?"

"So it is? That's what this is about? You showing me who has a bigger cock? Teaching me some kind of lesson?" McKay's brows lowered.

Kavanagh sighed shortly.

"You don't get it. You really don't get it. I need a drink."

"Yes. Go. Drink. More is less. Much, much more."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kavanagh didn't look happy when he came back. He looked tipsy and, if anything, hornier than before.

"You didn't drink enough, did you? How much did you have? Whatever it was you need more. Just one more? No?"

Kavanagh ignored him.

"Ok now. Let's get back to the basics. I feel like we've been getting off-track here." He sat Rodney up against the headboard and settled beside him on the bed. Rodney's eyes closed, his head swimming as Kavanagh's hand began to explore.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Aaaagh—dammit…" McKay felt a muscle near his groin cramp as Kavanagh's tongue joined his hand.

"W-what is it you want, Kavanagh? Suppose you just tell me, straight out? Save us both a lot of trouble, hmm?"

Kavanagh lifted his head sharply.

"I want you," he said, as if the question were the stupidest McKay had asked yet.

"All of you."

Rodney laughed. _The very thought. Ludicrous._

"Yes, well. You can't have that. I'm with—someone else." He smiled at Kavanagh smugly. For a second he could almost feel Sheppard's arms around him, the room and the bed and Kavanagh fading into a dream-like non-reality.

Kavanagh looked at him for a long moment, then nodded and looked away.

"Fine. Then I'll take what I can get."

Rodney's smile faltered.

"Kavanagh…I really…even if I wanted to…"

"Even if? God, just shut the hell up. Seriously, can it. Fuck…" Kavanagh stared off into nothingness for several seconds, then turned a calculating look on McKay.

"All right. Here. Suppose I were to promise that I'd stop getting in your way, after this? Never interfere in your little lives again, you and your flyboy? Never mess with your dysfunctional Star Trek utopia, stop calling Weir out on her bullshit and insisting on some kind of transparency and/or accountability to the government here?" The bitterness in his voice was so strong McKay could almost taste it.

"You'd…go back to Earth? For good?"

"I'd get out of your hair permanently. What little you have left to get out of."

McKay scowled at him and took a long breath.

"What, not worth it? For one god-damned time? Need something else to sweeten the deal?" Kavanagh's voice was deceptively soft, but an underlying tone struck warningly at McKay's subconscious.

"Here's a deal for you. I promise not to—" His voice was turning savage and ugly around the edges. McKay interrupted him hastily.

"Um. Let me think. Worth it. Yes, totally. I think we can work with this. Now. We just need to, um, discuss the, uh, specifics of what I, uh…would be…"

"How about this?" Kavanagh climbed onto him and shoved his tongue into his mouth and McKay stopped trying to talk.

His voice was very small when he finally got enough air to speak again.

"Are you…going to…"

"Yep. Pretty definitely. Unless you come up with something good enough to stop me in, say, the next 10 minutes."

_10 minutes. Oh God. _ Rodney's heart thumped.


	10. Chapter 10

"So why did you come back, anyway? I thought you'd had it up to here with your situation." _Keep him talking. Anything to keep him talking._

Kavanagh looked taken aback.

"Oh. Here we are. That was fast. Um. Ok. Try to listen. I know it's mostly a foreign concept for you, but I want you to give it your best shot."

McKay glared but he didn't interrupt him.

"I left Atlantis because I didn't feel like anyone wanted or valued me here. But once I got back to Earth, I couldn't stop thinking about…Atlantis. Its complexity, its beauty, the—the enormity of what it holds. How it can think circles around your average person without even trying. How even when it's broken, abandoned and isolated it has the power to pull people from the other side of the galaxy to it." He looked straight into Rodney's eyes.

"It was only a few days before I realized…there was only Atlantis. For me. At that point I didn't even care if I got the position I wanted. Go on, laugh, but it's true. I wouldn't have cared. I just wanted to be here—near _Atlantis._"

"You expect me to believe that? That some love affair with the city is what brought you back? You were the one who said we couldn't possibly consider staying."

Kavanagh lowered his head, laughed softly.

"You're so incredibly stupid, McKay. But maybe that's a good thing. Let me tell you more about Atlantis."

_Here we go. Whatever's happening in his head, this is distracting him. Humor him. _McKay pasted on a fake smile.

"Of course. I'm stupid. Ha ha, stupid me. Yes. I don't have the intelligence to appreciate Atlantis on my own. Beautiful, amazing Atlantis. Tell me more. Please."

Kavanagh looked down.

"It's…cruel. Really, _really _cruel, sometimes. Without even meaning to be." His eyes came up to meet Rodney's.

"Cruel? It's a city, Kavanagh. It doesn't have a brain. It doesn't have the capacity to be cruel. Not in the sense you're implying, anyway."

"Rodney—" Kavanagh's head sank till it touched McKay's shoulder, frustration turning his voice into a low growl.

"On the other hand, you must have a reason for your bizarre anthropomorphism of Atlantis. Keep uh, keep rambling. There's usually some sense in what you say if I let you babble long enough." McKay gave him a worried look. _The talking is breaking down. Not good._

"Rambling. Yeah, ok. Right." Kavanagh nodded slowly, looked off into a corner of the room as if searching for something.

"So, you know how you just said, Atlantis not having a brain means it doesn't have the capacity to be cruel…"

"Ye-e-e-s…?"

"So then you're saying, the more brain capacity, the larger the capacity for cruelty."

"Yes…I suppose that's true…Wait, why are we talking about cruelty? Let's move away from this subject. What if we talk about, say, a happy ending to all this? One that involves both of us being alive and neither of us in prison."

Kavanagh lifted his head and gave him a level look.

"I see what you're thinking. You could be right, you know. Incredibly intelligent—according to our very own Dr. Weir anyway—equals incredibly sadistic…it's a very possible scenario."

"What? Y-you? This is about pain? You wanting to hurt me?"

Kavanagh snorted softly.

"Use your considerable powers of observation, McKay. How much pain are you in right now?"

"You're right. That doesn't make any sense either. Although I am starting to develop a pain in my back. You know, I'm trying to condense all this, analyze it and get _something _out, but it's just not making—Oh." McKay stopped short as Kavanagh's hands pressed under his back, rubbing and kneading the muscles there. The long fingers were surprisingly talented and McKay relaxed in spite of himself, struggling to focus.

"Wait, I know. Somehow you got the gene therapy to work on you. Or found a way to activate a latent Ancient gene. Uh huh. And now you've got some weird fixation about the city being your untouchable goddess." McKay's eyes gleamed as Kavanagh started shaking his head.

"See, even crazy minds are no match for mine. Haha? Ha! I'm right, aren't I?" His smile faded as Kavanagh continued to shake his head, slowly and patiently, in rhythm with the movements of his hands under McKay's back.

"Not the gene? Then how—why—?"

"Just…never mind, McKay. That's all I have to say about Atlantis. It's brilliant, cruel, irresistible. It's what I came back for. Yes, I know it was stupid of me, but it wasn't a matter of choice. I couldn't stay away. Just…remember that, okay?"

"Analyzing and…nope. No coherent thought detected. Condensed babble yielding the same results as regular babble." Rodney looked up at him, his face pleasant and hopeless and completely mystified.

Kavanagh dropped his head, defeated.

"Why are you so stupid, why do you have to be so stupid?" he groaned against McKay's neck.

"Look, Kavanagh, I am trying to sort out the workings of your twisted mind, I really am, but how does this fit together? You're here, on Atlantis, where you _just said_ you wanted to be—"

"—Had. Had to be."

"—Whatever. Here you are. You've got what you wanted. And recently people have been bending over backwards trying to do things for you—don't say it, don't even _contemplate_ saying it—and get you through what's happened. How does this lead to a cataclysmic dive off the deep end? As you at least noticed, Zelenka's been ridiculously busy managing your projects and his _and _trying to keep an eye on you at the same time."

"I know. I am sorry about that. Will you tell him—"

"Oh, you're sorry about that but not about _this?_"

"No." Kavanagh looked at him bleakly but without relenting.

"Well then. Analysis complete. Source of babble is a criminally insane _and _illogical basket case." Rodney's eyes met Kavanagh's as they darted up. For several seconds they just glared at each other, blue eyes warring.


	11. Chapter 11

Kavanagh looked down first, retracting one hand to run over McKay's belly, playing over the softness.

"You and your analyses…You know, maybe it's simpler than you seem to think. _Maybe_ I just can't get enough of you. Your smell, your skin…your...mmm…" His mouth joined his hand, working its way down. He paused near the rounded indentation that marked McKay's belly button and dug his tongue inside, his eyes closing. McKay moaned and choked, his diaphragm seizing at the sensation.

"So sensitive…" Kavanagh's eyes gleamed with pure enjoyment. He dipped his tongue in again, stroking Rodney's cock with his fingers as it strained upwards.

"What if you're a drug that addicts with the first dose? Ever think of that? Maybe—just maybe—you're as earth-stoppingly amazing as you think you are."

"Oh very funny. Haha. Haaaa…" McKay forced his brain to work through the haze as the long, precise fingers gripped his base and pulled, rubbing and circling, sliding up, up and over. He let his head fall back against the front of the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"M-mocking me will get you nowhere, Kavanagh. I'm right because I ha-have to be right. It's my job. And I'm a genius because if I weren't, people would die. Or, all right, maybe because I was born that way. Details. Look, are you going to—God, I—I can't believe I'm saying this—"

"Yes?" Kavanagh dragged it out, silkily, encouraging him. McKay took a deep breath.

"Are you going to consider my…ugh…offer...aaaagggh…or not?" His breath hitched. Kavanagh's hands and mouth were doing things he couldn't let himself think about.

"What exactly _are_ you offering me?" Kavanagh raised his head, his voice soft but with a frisson of excitement running through it.

"Something different. Going with the drug analogy, an a-a-aalternative version. Haaaaaah…" McKay shuddered as Kavanagh's mouth reached the end of his happy trail and went to work.

"Something, uuuhhh…better. A new, a-a new derivative. Stronger. Oh. Um. Ah. Nnng! Uh, stronger than the—the—" Words failed him as Kavanagh looked up, bit his own lip and let a slow smile spread across his mouth, a toothy, carnivorous grin that completely transformed his face. McKay couldn't ever recall having seen a smile of any sort on his face before, let alone one like this. It made him a good ten years younger and turned the sparkle in his eyes to a delighted, animalistic glee that sent fingers of electricity under Rodney's skin and made his cock twitch and lift, to his own utter astonishment.

Kavanagh pushed himself up and mounted him, panting.

"So fucking sexy when you talk chemistry to me. Mmmm…" His lips took Rodney's, devouring them, tasting and plucking, the voracious, face-splitting smile stealing shyly in between kisses.

"Mmmmf! Wait, I thought…stop! No, Kavanagh, wait—aaaaaaghhhh…"

Kavanagh's left hand curled around his neck, one thumb stroking under his ear as Kavanagh's mouth attacked the other side, kissing and sucking at his neck, his breath coming in shaky gasps, his right hand squeezing and working Rodney's cock.

"Can't. Not going to make it. Need this. You. God, need you so fucking much. Have to—mmmm—" The faculty for speech seemed to have left Kavanagh for the first time. McKay's stomach was jerking and seizing but he still managed to register the lapse in control, noting how the heaviness in his muscles eased as Kavanagh lost focus, wondering if he could use it.

Then Kavanagh was pulling him flat and his fingers were inside him, wet and hard and trembling with urgency. McKay groaned, lost on the edge of panic and pleasure, the world spinning and falling away around him as Kavanagh jerked open his pants and scrambled into position.

_And then there was nothing in the world except the delicious, hot pressure at his entrance, the rounded hardness pushing in, stretching him, opening, and so good so full God moving uuggggghhhhh…_


	12. Chapter 12

"It feels good, doesn't it? I know you don't like this, but it feels good. Inside you. Right?"

McKay's eyes snapped up, but there was nothing in the dilated blue eyes staring into his except awe and a slightly inebriated excitement at his success. _Is there anything that isn't an experiment to you? God… _Rodney huffed as he bit back his retort, something killing the words on his tongue. It was there again, the anomaly he had sensed earlier. A loss of faith, a hesitancy that robbed Kavanagh's movements of their usual impatient energy.

Kavanagh spread his legs wider, opening him up completely. McKay's mouth set in a hard, angry line, a small tremor running through him as his body accepted what was happening. As Kavanagh had pointed out, nothing so far felt like physical injury, but the unbearable feeling of being out of control was brewing a response in Rodney that screamed to be let out. It was a raw, focused desire to kill something. Violently. Brutally. Or fuck it senseless. Either one would have done, and Kavanagh, _damn him,_ was barely even moving. McKay closed his eyes and formulated a silent, heartfelt curse that involved every imprecation he'd ever had the opportunity to hear.

The younger scientist bit his lip, his breath shuddering in his throat, and pushed in again, so slowly McKay wanted to rip him apart in pieces. Kavanagh's face looked enraptured to a nauseating degree and the way he was taking him, as if each second was the last he would ever experience, was crawling under McKay's skin.

"Is that good? How does it feel?"

"What, you've never—uhhh—had one in _your _ass before? How do you—nnng—think it feels? Or did you get all this from a 28-year porn addiction?"

"I didn't start watching at birth, McKay. And of course I um. Have." Kavanagh looked down.

"You—" McKay looked at him sideways and narrowed his eyes. Kavanagh wouldn't meet them.

"Are you—ugghh—kidding? How is—that possible—e-even for you?"

"I have a PhD, McKay. Plus a number of—mmm—lower degrees. I haven't been—nnggh—spending my time—uhh—chasing ass," Kavanagh retorted, stiffly. His body trembled hard against McKay's and stilled, a gasp of appreciation he couldn't repress escaping his lips. McKay watched as his chin sank to his chest, his mouth hanging open as he breathed, trying to adjust to the intoxication of McKay's body wrapped around his.

"Besides, w-what do you know? You don't know anything about me."

Rodney looked at him with despair and something else he wasn't sure he could quantify.

"You have problems, Kavanagh. Serious…nnng…problems…gggaaaahhh…" Kavanagh's body was moving again. Intensely fascinated blue eyes came up, engrossed and questing, searching Rodney's face for an echo of the sensations that were taking his own body away from him. Rodney glared off to the side, not at all certain he could look the other scientist in the eyes. Because in spite of the maelstrom whirling in Rodney's head—or perhaps because of it—it did feel good, it felt _fucking incredible_, and all the frustration and adrenaline were starting to gather into something explosive as Kavanagh worked inside him.

"Really, _really _serious_—_nngg—problems," he added. Kavanagh laughed, unaccountably and irrepressibly, his head falling back. He stopped moving and hid his face against Rodney's neck, one hand coming up to touch and tease a hard nipple. Rodney shivered as Kavanagh's breath whispered in tiny gusts across his naked chest.

"No shit, Sherlock," Kavanagh giggled, a sound that McKay felt all the way inside him catching in his throat and moving down into his chest. The other scientist subsided suddenly and focused. McKay clenched his teeth as he drew back and pushed in without stopping, burying himself balls-deep, his eyes moving dark and attentive over McKay's body and face, noting his every movement, every tiny jerk of his muscles.

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"Why am I doing this, McKay? Do you remember?"

Rodney set his teeth harder as Kavanagh's firm, measured thrusts dug deeper between his legs.

"God, how would—I know, you—you demented—rabbit? Because you can? Because you're—aaagh!—so drunk you'd—mmff!—fuck anything with a pulse? Or without? Because—nnnnggggh—you're a sick psycho that gets off—nnggg—on me being-mmmmmfff! Aaaaaaaaagh!" Kavanagh's thumb was making little circles over his slit, spreading the wetness there while his fingers squeezed and tugged Rodney's cock in rhythm with the intensifying cadence of his hips.

"Kavanagh—" Rodney gritted, but Kavanagh was already lost inside him, he could feel him convulsing, his body quivering and damp with need as McKay tightened around him. Kavanagh moaned, one knee coming up beside McKay's thigh and bumping wetly against his body, his toes and feet curling, clenching, digging blindly into the mattress.

"Oh God. Oh God. M—McKay…" Kavanagh grabbed a pillow from beside McKay's head, biting it, burying his face in it. McKay shuddered, his muscles spasming as Kavanagh drove in, faster and faster. Kavanagh breathed in short, choked gasps, his whole body straining desperately, hips thumping and thrusting and pounding between McKay's shaking legs. McKay's body arched, he cried out harshly and came, hot and wet in Kavanagh's fingers. His pulse fluttered around the pumping cock and Kavanagh groaned in response and surged into him, abandoning himself completely to the gripping heat. A familiar spreading warmth filled McKay's passage, he gasped and closed his eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

Then it was over. Kavanagh gave a throaty gasp and dropped into him, warm and heavy and boneless, his limbs fumbling for space as his muscles gave out. In the sudden stillness the only motion was the frantic heaving of their chests, Rodney's abdomen warring with Kavanagh's pulse where it flicked and stabbed against his skin. Rodney breathed ravenously, every short intake a victory. For several seconds all he could do was lie there, rebelliously enduring the heat of the younger man's body as it came undone.

Rodney's breathing started to slow. He rallied and drew himself up slightly.

"Hey. Off. Off." His voice was a sharp hiss, the best he could manage with Kavanagh's weight pressing the air out of him.

Kavanagh lifted his head and looked at him with empty, confused eyes. Rodney gestured and pushed at him. He swallowed and looked down, his chest moving wet and naked against Rodney as he made an effort to bring his own breathing under control.

"Can't breathe. Get. Off."

Kavanagh pushed himself up with quivering arms. His hair fell damp and tangled around his face as he put a clumsy hand around the side of Rodney's head and leaned in. Rodney grimaced in anticipation but Kavanagh's lips had already collided shakily with his forehead and pressed there, clinging. An echo of the turbulent pulsing behind Kavanagh's ribs ran through the softness of the awkward mouth and Rodney felt his own chest loosen. He grunted and pushed back the impulse to jerk his freed head to the side and let the other scientist's unprotected face take the impact, reluctantly enduring the light, electric throbs against his skin as Kavanagh's lips lingered.

"All right, all right. Are you done? Come on, wrap it up."

Kavanagh pulled out of him slowly and retreated. Rodney felt himself spasm once in response to the sudden emptiness, he tried to tighten, to hold it in but failed. Kavanagh watched him, still panting, as the white liquid leaked from his entrance.

"Mckay…" he whispered, his voice catching. He cleared his throat and lowered his head. Rodney felt a quick caress, then another, followed by the cool wetness of a towel. He set his jaw and stared with annoyance at the other wall as Kavanagh's mouth and hand continued to clean him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was several minutes later when Kavanagh lifted his head from McKay's shoulder and looked at him.

"How much do you hate me now? You suppose it's as much as I hate you?"

Mckay turned his head, gave Kavanagh one baleful look, and let his head drop back.

"God, Kavanagh. Is there a hatred scale in your insane little world or something? If so, then yes. You've earned yourself several notches with that last…that…" Rodney sputtered and ran out of words.

"You do realize that was a criminal act? By the definition of pretty much any civilized society?"

"Oh give it up, Mckay. You sound like a broken record. I told you already I don't care about any of that. I've made my preparations and there won't be anything I can't handle. Although I'll admit that last…event…wasn't planned. Things happened faster than I, um, had thought they would. Well. I improvised."

"Oh really? What was the plan? Now that you've figured out you can't even follow _your own _formula, maybe you'll have the sense to tell me just what your crazy mind was thinking? Originally?"

"But if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise." Kavanagh put his head back down.

"Oh dear Jesus…" McKay closed his eyes.

"Can you at least take your head off my shoulder, please? You're…damp. And clammy."

"Nope. I like it here. I'll get the blanket if you're cold." Kavanagh reached down and pulled the coverlet up over them both.

"Oh, by the way, how was it? For you? Cause I have to tell you—"

"No. No you do not. You do not have to tell me anything. I do not want to know. Ever." A shudder ran through Mckay's body as Kavanagh ran a hand over his chest.

"And I am not going to tell you anything unless I'm getting something back for it. Since you've apparently reached a place where all your compromised brain can grasp is some primitive sort of barter system, we'll play by your rules. Give something, get something. What am I getting for this?"

"What do you want for it? Oh! Do you still want to know what my plan was? And how much of a deviation that last one was? I can't tell you any future plans of course. That would spoil everything."

Mckay's eyes narrowed.

"Fine. It was infuriating, embarrassing, and…"

"And?"

"And what? What do you think? Kavanagh, it felt like getting fucked by someone I didn't want to fuck me, when I didn't want to be fucked. By your own implicit admission you know how that feels. So congratulations! You messed with my body and to some degree my head. I'm as traumatised as even you could hope for. Now tell me your fucking plan or this is the last time I talk to you till you let me out of here."

"Fucking plan. That's delightfully appropriate." Kavanagh smirked.

"Just do it!"

"That's all you felt? Just—not wanting it? The whole time?"

"Aside from the drug-enhanced auto-response, purely due to the fact that I have a functional nervous system and—and functioning—yes. That's all I felt."

"Are you very angry?"

"Yes! Of course! How many stupid questions do I have to listen to before you deliver your end of this?"

"You want…my end…delivered…?" Kavanagh's mouth twitched.

"Your credibility is dropping fast, Kavanagh."

Kavanagh sighed.

"You're no fun. Fine, then. I wasn't planning to take it all the way right off. I had several stages in mind."

"Oh brilliant. You're full of sharp ideas, as usual. Well it would have been a waste of time. Fucking somebody who doesn't want it is _fucking somebody who doesn't want it._"

"I was going to make you want it. You don't think I could?"

Mckay hesitated. It sounded like a challenge and he wasn't sure he wanted to make anything a challenge yet. He looked disconsolately over at the other scientist. The blue eyes were already snapping with the prickly antagonism that seemed to spring to life whenever Mckay spoke. It didn't bode well for further negotiations. He sighed heavily.

"God, Kavanagh…why me?"

Kavanagh looked at him with disbelief and something else Mckay couldn't read. He lifted one hand and looked skyward.

"Here we are again. Well, since you won't give up with the questions, I'll give you a clue. It has to do with Atlantis. You see, I never let on how it was for me, to anybody." He raised himself and ran one hand up the side of Mckay's chest, his fingers closing on a still-sensitive nipple.

"You wouldn't have guessed, right? That I'd give my right hand just to see her, hear, touch her? That I'd sell my soul if I thought it would make her mine forever? That being…inside her makes me crazy, so crazy I don't even know who I am anymore?"

Mckay glared at him until his hand quieted. Kavanagh's thumb was still stroking over the hard nub, playing with it, but it was better than the hungry twisting and the occasional jolts of fire between Mckay's legs were not enough to call back his fading erection. He looked at Kavanagh askance, his eyes grudgingly acknowledging the small concession.

"I…no. I would not have guessed any of those things. Let's ignore the fact that, even given that we're talking about an abstract concept like a sentient city, all that is distinctly creepy. Yes. Let's ignore that. I think I might know what happened. What started all this." Mckay's body displaced the hand that was molesting his nipple as he turned towards Kavanagh and poked an accusing finger at him.

"You messed with something, didn't you? Touched something you weren't supposed to, like you _always do,_ and it fried your brain. You know, I'll bet it was that tower, back in the room where you jumped me. Did you never stop to think that it was designed for _Ancients_? That maybe it was something too powerful for some dumbass like you to be fucking around with?"

Kavanagh's mouth curled at one corner.

"I've known from the beginning Atlantis was too powerful for me to be fucking with. That's half of what drives me nuts about her. It's what turns me into Icarus, flying into the sun. I'd rather burn than freeze."

Mckay let his head fall back, turned it to one side.

"All right. This is starting to make sense, in your signature 'must-be-pompous-and-flowery-and-avoid-conciseness-at-all-costs' way. Hold on here. So. You're obsessed with the city and you decided to abduct me because I'm the only one who can help you make whatever connection you think will somehow satisfy your bizarre fetish, right? Wait, is it ascension? You think I can help you ascend? Oh my—No. Fuck no. Do not tell me this is all…some sort of ridiculous, quasi-religious ritual. Because as tolerant a person as I am—oh stop it—"

Kavanagh stopped laughing, cleared his throat and shrugged.

"You could interpret it that way, I guess. Religion or idolatry. Depends on how you look at it."

"Crap. Fine. Have it whatever way makes sense to you right now. Just as long as it doesn't involve the usual insane requirement for human sacrifice, like in all the shitty horror movies. It doesn't, right?"

"What if it does?"

Mckay's neck hairs prickled.

"What are you saying?"

Kavanagh moved toward him and pressed a gentle, reverent kiss against his temple, his voice drifting down into Mckay's ear, his breath following the chills running down Mckay's neck.

"I'm saying, genius, that…you guessed it."

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Author's notes:

The plot thickens! Who do you think will come out *COUGH* on top? Will Rodney find a way to get the upper hand before Kavanagh's plan goes into action?


	14. Chapter 14

"So. Sacrifice. Your plan includes somebody dying." Mckay's voice tightened as the tingles washed down his spine and pure adrenaline hit.

"Mm-hm." One of Kavanagh's hands lifted and came up to his face.

"What about…what we talked about? Is that off the table now?"

"I wouldn't say that. But we are on a schedule."

Mckay choked a little.

"Look, just—tell me clearly what you want. All right? We can go from there. I'll help you with whatever you want as well. Ascending, whatever. Assuming it doesn't involve me dying, anyway, or putting the city or anyone else here at risk. And if it has to be somebody, me or somebody else I mean, I'll…listen. Anyway. That's fair, isn't it? More than fair. Generous even. Right? So tell me."

"I've said too much already." The soft voice was growing remote. Mckay realized Kavanagh's thoughts were turning in a different direction, moving away from his voice, slowly but inexorably disconnecting. He could almost feel the chill as Kavanagh's hand stopped touching him.

"Kavanagh. Kavanagh. Talk to me. Don't let this go any further. Look what you've done already. Is this you? Is this who you are?"

Kavanagh's head came back around at the blunt sincerity in Mckay's last words.

"Who I am…" He looked down, playing with the sheet.

"That's it. I'm right here. Talk to me." Mckay's eyes searched for his, trying to force a connection.

The other scientist hesitated. His eyes darted up and Mckay saw a flicker of something pass through them. _Was that regret? Apprehension?_ Mckay took a short, cautious breath, keeping eye contact.

Kavanagh looked down, his hand sliding tentatively over Mckay's.

"What if we started over? Imagine that last time didn't happen? I think if we, if we went according to plan…"

"Didn't happen…" Mckay stared at him, shaking his head a little in disbelief, his face wrinkling. A surge of red-hot anger shot through him as he digested Kavanagh's words, leaving him shaking and erasing for a second the terror. For a second he fought to contain the fury rising, prickling through every nerve of his body. He thought he might have it, he almost had it but then Kavanagh's eyes turned maddeningly hopeful, his face sliding into a slack, infuriating stupidity and McKay's head stopped forming logical thoughts. He jerked his hand away.

"Are you kidding? Are you fucking kidding? Fat chance, Kavanagh! What's done is done. If you think there's any way in two galaxies I'm forgetting or forgiving what you've done, you're sadly mistaken! I—"

Kavanagh looked at him silently for a few seconds. Mckay faltered, the words dying on his lips as he watched the face across from his go hard and angry and then expressionless. Something about the set of his eyes sent a deathly stillness right into Mckay's soul as Kavanagh gripped his hand again and leaned in, the device freezing his fingers in place when he would have curled them under in a last defiant gesture. Mckay tensed as the other scientist's mouth neared his ear, but he only whispered a word into it before putting his head back into the hollow of Mckay's shoulder.

"Good."


End file.
